How to Be an Adult in Love


This book is available at bookstores or you may click on the cover to buy online.

How to Be an Adult in Love
Letting love in Safely and Showing it Recklessly

Shambhala, 2013

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We were made to love and be loved. Loving ourselves and others is in our genetic code. It’s nothing other than the purpose of our lives—but knowing that doesn’t make it easy to do. We find it a challenge to love ourselves. We might have a hard time letting love in from others: recognizing it, accepting it. We’re often afraid of getting hurt. It is also sometimes scary for us to share love with those around us—and love that isn’t shared leaves us feeling flat and unfulfilled.We explore ways to love ourselves without guilt and with generosity. We learn how to love others with awareness of our boundaries. We confront our fears of love and loving. We embrace the spiritual challenge of letting our scope of love expand. Then love is a caring connection, unconditional, universal, and joyous. “It has been 10 years since the publication of my book, How to be an Adult in Relationships(Shambhala, 2002). During that time I have given over 100 workshops and received countless emails with comments and insights about it. I have kept careful track of them and incorporated them into this new book. It picks up where the “Adult in Relationships” book left off. I believe How to be an Adult in Love(Shambhala, 2013) represents my deepest realizations so far on how relationships work, how to love oneself, and how to practice loving-kindness toward all beings. I hope it is as helpful to all my readers as it was enlightening for me to learn what it took to write it.” — Dave

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